Lesson 101: How to be a dork

When I was younger and much less wise I knew 3 things to be true.

1. I would never marry again.
2. I would never, never live in the USA
3. I would never, never, never have children.

This was all said while living in Canada, happily getting liquored but sadly getting divorced. Of course as experience often teaches us I knew not. Less than 3 years after uttering those words I was on my way to live in the big old US of A, knocked up and about to be married to my gorgeous American and more happy than one has a right to be.

Now because on my way to wisdom sometimes I need to relearn old lessons (again and again it seems but that is for another post......). I may have been heard to say that I would never knit doll's clothes or god forbid fake food. I may have even openly mocked those who do. Maybe.

You know the biggest problem with kids? It is not the time or the expense or the mess or the smell. Honestly, you deal with that stuff. It is the inescapable fact you love these damn critters so much you find yourself doing the things you never thought you would. Not only do you find yourself singing out loud (badly) at the supermarket, you find yourself making fake food and doll clothes.



You find yourself sitting up at night crackling with delight of it all and working as late as you need so you can leave another piece for your kid to come racing out and find in the morning. (You find yourself agreeing to purple ribbon but again another post........)




You worry about providing a balanced fake food diet after noticing your tenacity runs to a fake junk food diet.




You worry what it says about you as a mother that your 5 year old is offering up cupcake sandwiches to your guests.




You get right on making sure she has a good selection of fruit and veggies so she can get her "5 a day".









You swell with pride when she asks for some fake tofu and sushi.



Damn kids, consider yourself warned.