There is something to be said for balloon animals.....

You know how when you go to a party and there is the quiet kinda nerdy dude in the corner (you know before nerdy was hot) and you pass right over him - boring - and then some music starts up and - boom the bloke starts swing dancing like no tomorrow ....... that my friends is a great party trick.

The time has come that I can no longer rely on my liquor induced obnoxiousness alone to save me at a party (funny as you grow older how weenie you become around liquor ".........and then, and then I drank the WHOLE beer by myself and well I was just away with the fairies............woo hoo"). I feel it is time for me to get a party trick.

I really considered swing dancing but was strangely more drawn to Appalachian clogging and somehow, maybe it is just me, but I don't think it will say cool to others. Balloon animals are out, I suck at that, don't ask me how I know.

And then it hit me - origami.

I have been spending a lot of time around some Japanese women lately and all of them can origami like you wouldn't believe. Apparently they learn it at school. Finally a school system that sets their pupils up for real life, although I guess if everyone can origami the whole party trick thing.......(and yes origami is a verb, well...... because I said so). So every time I come into work there would be another of the cutest little thing and then finally the coup d'etat, an origami cell phone. So let me just set the scene for you, as in welcome to my daydream, there I am sitting in the middle of a crowd of admirers and I say "oh poor you you have lost your cell phone, well here take this one" and toss them a paper cell phone and all clap and laugh at my wittiness and I fling my non-existent hair around "oh really it was nothing, anyone can do it".

My son got me one of those cool origami a day calendars. I am 3 weeks into the year and I have been practising my origami. For some strange reason I thought it would be fun to do it each day with him, forgetting that the boy has just come off a year of "a paper airplane a day". For the record telling your kid that doing a perfect outside fold is just dumb and no one thinks he is clever cause it is dumb and no I don't need to see how it is done perfectly because remember they are dumb and I am not going to do those dumb things.... yeah well I don't think they covered that in parenting 101.

My version of a penguin...... a penquin I said.......like the bird............oh be quiet.........





The peace dove who couldn't get her fat ass off the ground if peace depended on it..........



You know magic tricks always go over well don't they........

Maybe I didn't give balloon animals enough of a chance............

They say liquor is quicker.............